Chronic Pain

Chronic pain affects all activities of daily living. Chronic pain affects how you care for your families and maintain intimate relationships.

Chronic pain is persistent pain that last weeks to years and is considered to be chronic once the nerves are damaged.

When I was child I used to laugh at older people who would need to soak in epsom salt or when my grandmother would talk about hurting due to bursitis and now I experience great pain from bursitis.

How soon into your relationship do you disclose issues with chronic pain? If you were already married or in a serious relationship, how did your relationship change? Do you discuss medication management, as this seems to be a huge concern with chronic pain.

I have spoken with several women who have expressed problems with their bedroom performance due to chronic pain. They expressed that their partners had become resentful and some have cheated because their sexual needs were not being met.

Honestly, I don't always disclose but I adjust activities in order to limit the amount of pain I experience. And when I am unable to adjust activites, I make sure I have medication available.

Self disclosure, it has been difficult for my children to understand my need for pain medication and sometimes they did not believe I was in pain. I think they have been resentful about trips to the emergency room or the amount of doctors visits.

Chronic pain is real and partners need to be understanding. This is not only affecting older women this is affecting young women as well. True there is a desire to have great amazing sex, flip me over and raise my legs kind of sex but in reality, it may not happen or happen often.

What helps, keeping your women happy outside of the bedroom. If she is happy she will experience less pain and if she is not in pain you will experience more sex.

Have those conversations about intimacy, discuss expectations, desires, and sexual needs. Be open with your partner but what cannot happen is, ladies you can't withhold sex just because you are hurting. This may mean making some adjustments and be honest with your partner, do you prefer a home cooked meal today or a better me tonight? Would you rather have your dry cleaning picked up or would you rather have a night of sexual pleasure; but you can't have both. Let the kids know you just can't do it all and you need help.

You can make it work, take your husband with you to your medical appointments, I did. He was able to express his frustration and the doctor actually provided us with help......mmmmmm!

Be blessed and most of all pray, Keep God involved in every area of your life, yes even the bedroom. Pray that He heals you and that He helps your partner understand your problem. Pray that you are able to be the wife He designed you to be in every area of your marriage. Pray God allows you to be found by someone who will understand and help you cope with your pain.