Six Months

I have written a blog in a while; what happened? Over the span of six months I watched everything I was working hard to build, come to a complete stop, not a half stop, not a few days of leave, but a stop.

In six months I realized I am not as strong as I once thought. I realized that "help" essential. I realized things can quickly fall apart.

February of this year, I was admitted to the hospital, but it was ok because I was still on my grind. Heck, I was working while in the hospital. Since February, it has been three hospital stays, multiple trips to the er, frequent trips to various specialty clinics, and thousands of dollars in test.

Six months and every bit of energy, motivation, and strength just became...............Fear had overcome me, I was making end of life plans (which I needed to do), getting things in place for my children, and just stuff. So much stuff that the vision took a back seat, like way back.

My physical heart is tired, how can I encourage others to endure when my heart can not endure. I realized ministry requires something I don't have. I literally climbed off the wall and set down. Way down, not even at the base of the wall but deeper down lol.

\Well six months later, I am up working again... I was reminded weeks ago about being proved by God, I think failed but my heart is in the right place.

I encourage you to endure, remain firm, suffering only last for a little while, and you will come out worthy and valuable, as pure gold. How much value have I earned?